11-12-2013 01:40 PM - edited 11-12-2013 02:51 PM
Yea you read the title right and I just feel awful...
I have been resenting my cute lil pup whos not a pup anymore for awhile now
He goes to daycare 5 days a week at $25 a day and now they've increased it to $28 a day... More than actual childcare
So do you see how much Iam paying in a month for a pup who is too stubborn to stay home alone
He doesnt have severe anxiety so I thought because he will stay with about anyone; it doesnt have to be me... Ive even left him alone with another dog which was chaos but at least he didnt re-decorate the place he only destroyed my friends blinds trying to peek out the windows.
I cannot continue to pay $28 a day for him... I have too much other things and bills to take care off
I dont mind the idea of day-care maybe twice during the weekday but not for 5 days because once you sumthat all up together its a whole lot of money Iam spending besides Mylos food, treats, grooming and etc.
I knew it would be alot of work when I got him at 6 months old, some of his old ways are stuck, he is clingy and a bit dominatr but I can say I have received alot of his love in return. Mylo warms my heart he comes over n lay his head on my chest, shoulder or thighs. He makes me laugh because he is such a silly pup. He is stubborn but when he listens, I light up and jump for jou. However, I just wish he wouldnt be the cause of my evidaction out of my place. Checks have been bounced a few times when paying for his daycare, I thought after a few months he would trust me and his home a bit better and be a bit more confident.
I spend alot of time training him but being left alone is just not for him. He sits, lay down, stay, paw, roll-over, stay and heel but being left alone is a no-no for him
Mylo use to be able to stay at least 15 to 20 mins alone by himself where he would just cry a little, pant a little but not anymore... going outside for the mail he starts barking, wait thats a lie... he doesn't bark, he howls!!! For a lil bichon mix he sure knows how to make noise and re-decorate the place. I got him to be able to let me tie him up to a post for a few minutes if I need to go inside a store to order and pick up food or a few things.
I got a noise control alarm which does lil to help instead of him barking until he reading to pass out this helps with him barking every 2 to 3 minute instead, I added a dropcam to watch him and talk to him when he starts acting up but this also does lil to help.
So yes I resent him way more from the beginning because I was so willing to be patient for him but after having to call out of work for a dog a few times (losing out on money) and doggy daycare (losing out on money) and everything in the middle I dont think I can do it anymore.
What other choices do I have because at this moment all I want to do is give him up? But I know doing that... I will never be the same
on 11-12-2013 02:23 PM
You know, in your list of all of the things you've tried, I didn't see things like "stuffed, frozen Kong or other appropriate chew" or "leaving exercises." Have you tried any of these things? What does Mylo do when you leave any kind of edible behind for him when he's home alone?
Here are a few suggestions I have for you:
Sounds like Mylo's leaving threshold is about 2 minutes or less. So when you get home tonight, figure out his threshold. Meaning; how long does it take when he's left alone before he starts howling? If it's 2 minutes, then start your leaving exercises with him at 1 minute duration.
Try a Kong or other stuffed toy filled with any of Mylo's favorites. My Moco's favorite thing on Earth is peanut butter, and lucky for me it's something that freezes really nicely. So I put kibble and peanut butter in the Kong, freeze it over night, and he gets it right before I leave.
So during your leaving exercises, give Mylo the Kong or Himalayan Chew or anything like that you may already have for him and silently leave the house. Within one minute, return. If he didn't howl or urinate or any other unwanted behaviors, when he calms, tell him he was a good boy and give him a high-reward treat. After about three consecutive successful reps, it may be time to graduate to say 1 minute and 30 second intervals.
Do these exercises sound familiar to you? They're the only thing that worked for Moco and he barely shows any symptoms now, thank goodness! I, like you, were almost getting to the point of needing to put him in daycare every day. The rates for such an arrangement are the same here as yours, so we're talking anywhere between $350 - $400/month for a dog. Yikes, right? So I had to do something. We started doing the leaving exercises every single day for weeks until Moco no longer showed signs of anxiety while we were gone.
Please let us know how these exercises go. Unless you can afford or have access to somewhere like the pet anxiety group at UPenn or another behaviorist, this is basically your best shot at keeping Mylo.
Best of luck to you- I know how devastating it is to realize that rehoming your pet may become a reality.
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on 11-12-2013 03:00 PM
Mylo loves bully sticks, cheese and Beggin bacon bits... You will have his complete attention!! I have left bully sticks, kongs and placed those interacting balls that he has to paw at and play with so it release the treats for him but once I leave he is no longer interested. I come back to them being untouched ... once I am back n he is calmed he will go grab his bully stick or ball to lay close enough to me to start chewing n playing with.
on 11-12-2013 03:51 PM
Ah-ha! Sure sounds like your Mylo is too smart for his own good, like my Moco. Not easily tricked, that's for sure!
Moco was the same way before... If I gave him the Kong right before I left, he'd realize I was gone not too long after I'd left and start to become distressed, no longer touching the Kong or whatever it was I left for him that day. So what we've started doing is I give him the Kong to start to enjoy while I'm doing my hair because it's the last thing I do in the mornings. So by the time my husband and I are ready to go, he's already distracted by the Kong and if we're sneaky, he eats the whole thing without noticing we're gone. Have you ever tried to trick Mylo like this; if so, did it work? Some dogs just know when you're up to something no matter how you may try to "trick" them!
Oh yes, also, where does Mylo go when you leave? Can he see you physically walk out of the door? I've found this troubles Moco more; when he actually watches us go whether we acknowledge him or give eye contact or ignore him. If he sees us go, he has a bad day. So when I give him the Kong before fixing my hair, I give it to him so that his back is facing us as we walk out of the front door (he stays in our living room/kitchen during the day).
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on 11-12-2013 04:52 PM
Yep he is a smart one... I give it to him before I walk out those doors, He becomes all wrapped it into it until I head out
Today he was mid-way chewing and the treat just fell out of his mouth to my shoe Lol
I dont know what to do... I tell him out of whatever room Iam in if he starts following me too much... I push him over to the other side of the couch is he starts laying on me; None of this works. Not the treats, not the Tv, not the anxiety relief sprays, not the exercising he gets for a small dog we walk somethimes 30 to 45 mins, not the noise alarm contol... He has put up a true fight! I let him roam, I dont even lock him in his crate anymore to see if that would work better
I cant possible fanthom of re-homing him; it truly would be my lost
on 11-12-2013 05:10 PM
Uhoh, he sure is a smart one! Funny one, too. Sounds like he's got a cute sense of humor, too.
Have you tried out of sight stays before? I did those with Moco for weeks before we started the isolation exercises. I wanted to first show him that being in separate rooms is okay; that I will need to be out of his sight some times. Maybe you should start there with Mylo? You know, baby steps. Little by little he'll get there, I'm sure. The trick is us humans figuring out what works and what doesn't. For instance, you brought up the crate. Moco also used to be crated, but after we moved, my husband and I realized that it wasn't in Moco's best interest to crate him. In fact, even though I thought he broke his tooth on a bone over a year ago, it very well could have been broken on the crate. That scares me. Anyway! We just took a chance on it one day, letting him "roam free," and he's handled that MUCH better than he ever handled being crated. Apparently many dogs with isolation/separation issues also have crate anxiety. So it makes sense that Mylo, too, does better when he isn't crated.
The way our apartment is laid out allows Moco to have free roam of our living room and kitchen. We still remove the sofa cushions to be sure he won't urinate on them, but maybe this week or next we'll be brave and try to put them in again. I'm mostly fortunate that we've never had noise complaints and he also hasn't ever ingested anything he tore up, and he's only torn something up one time.
Anyway!! Try some out of sight stays with Mylo tonight... You'll want to start with a regular sit-stay if he's never done one before. Once he's got that down to an art, you can start walking away from him about 5 steps backward while keeping eye contact. Return those five steps you took back to him and reward him for not budging. Keep doing this until you can walk all the way to a room entrance/exit and back without him budging. Once you've gotten that one down pact, then Mylo's ready for you to move on to an actual out of sight stay.
Let me know how these go with him tonight, please?
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on 11-20-2013 08:21 PM
When you first got Mylo you were able to take him to work with you. Is there any possibility of that being allowed on a permanent basis?
It will break his little heart to leave you forever.
on 11-17-2013 12:35 PM
Personally I think expecting a puppy to stay alone all day while you are at work is a lot to ask. He isn't destructive for a start, which is unsusal.
Do your neighbours complain about the noise?
In my experience a dog will settle down after about 20 minutes.
Going for a long walk for at least 30 minutes or more to tire him out would make a big difference too.
Can you set up a web cam to monitor his activities. Once he gets used to you being away during the day I think he will resign himself to it.
An alternative soliution would be to find a dog lover who would be willing to have Mylo at their own home during the day. Maybe a disabled person?
Do please let us know how things are going and whether or not you gave kept Mylo. As you haven't written since Tuesday I am wondering if you have got rid of him.
on 12-17-2013 10:51 AM
Mylo is loud and destructive when left alone, he redecorates all over the apt, places I didn't know he could reach for a lil guy. The crate makes it worse and barriers are things he just jumps over.
At daycare everyone is amaze of how high he jumps... They actually put him with the big dogs so he is not escaping out all day long.
Mylo no longers can come to work with me ever because I switched jobs... Sometimes I think about sneaking him in under my desk maybe no one will know but my Mylo is too curious and he would start guarding that place too like we own it whenever someone else would come around.He needs to sniff everyone out. I don't know who ever told him he was a guard dog.
I've also looked into Craigslist and saw a few postings about ppl who just wanted the companion of a dog during the day but that didn't go anywhere because I never heard anything back after I wanted to meet them for Coffee so they can meet me and Mylo.
My next option is maybe finding a doggie bootcamp for him that deal with seperation anxiety that can then teach me and him about staying home alone.
I've gotten Mylo to the point that he doesn't have to be right next to me all the time, I will move and ask him to stay. If Iam in the kitchen cooking he will come sit or lay by my feet and I will tell him out and he will actually leave to sit and watch me by the door. The other day I couldn't beleive it because after daycare and a walk he is usually a pretty tired pup, he will fight it though and actually stay up on the couch with me just to be on me. However, last week He actually got up and went to bed. I didn't tell or ask him to, its like he gave up and got the confidence to leave and go to bed. He actually stayed in the room all by himself until I called it a night for myself. I went ahead and walked around and even opening the main door and I found him still cozy in bed but his ears were perked up, at attention. I was so proud, he got a good boy and belly rub for that one. He has done this twice now where he got up left us in the living room and went to bed. I think my boy is growing up. I really just wish I had the time and material to get him to stay maybe a day or two at home without his seperation anxiety kicking in because when I am there on the weekends with no plans... The boy just lays there sleeping all day. He will also go up to the Windows or blinds to look outside but that's it he sleeps all day when I'm there why can't he lay there when everyone is away
Still love him though... I'm addicted to that pup, he ain't going anywhere!
on 12-17-2013 12:03 PM
So glad to hear that Mylo will wander off to bed all by himself- that's a really, really positive sign so it's excellent that you praised him for it and gave him much-earned belly rubs.
Since it sounds like you may be searching for a pet sitter or perhaps a dog walker to come by and visit with Mylo for a little while during the work day, I highly recommend searching on a site called DogVacay. Unlike Craigslist, all of the people that have profiles on this website as service providers come with customer reviews, ratings, etc. so you can have (hopefully) an easier time finding someone you can trust with your home and/or your pet.
Best of luck to you and Mylo, but it certainly sounds like progress is being made so try to remember to celebrate the little positive things that happen, too.
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